Number 5: “Alien”/”Aliens”

I was and am to this day COMPLETELY OBSESSED with these dark wet menacing insect like humanoid killing machines known as “Aliens”.

Don’t let the boilerplate name confuse you either.  These are not just ‘Aliens’.  These are the scariest most menacing acid bleeding chest bursters in the galaxy.  I’m not even sure they are a species, maybe more of a virus.

They are the brainchild of master of the dark arts H. R. Geiger.  Who draws the craziest shit you’ve ever seen.  After watching a documentary on him I FINALLY went and checked out some of his other art. HOLY JEEZE what the hell!  To me it would appear this guy either dreams or trips to ANOTHER UNIVERSE where ALL OF THIS STUFF ACTUALLY EXISTS and then draws what he sees.

In the documentary he talks about how these images just show up in his head and he draws them because they scare the hell out of him.  Yeah I can see that.

And who better to bring the most menacing killing machine in the multiverse to life than Ridley Scott.  This dude hangs dong.  (He may be making another appearance in this list as well ;).  Ridley was a graphic designer/visual artist before he was a filmmaker.  This is impeccably apparent in his film “Alien”.  The atmosphere, inside the ship, on the alien planet, inside the alien’s ship, etc are all INCREDIBLY detailed and a feast for your eyes.  But then he’s also a genius at pacing, casting, story structure, and well everything that goes into making an amazing film.

This movie crushes it.  So many deep and bewildering ideas.  It would be years until I understood that the alien skeleton with the hole in his chest was not an “Alien”.  He was another species in the universe who was also horribly killed by an “Alien”.  WHAT? Wow!  Give that man the ten thousand dollars!  What a concept.  You’re telling me we’ve not only found aliens but we’ve found two aliens?  And one totally fucked the other up however many millennia ago? HOMG! I could have a nerd stroke right now.

“Alien” knocked it out of the airlock with the terrifying reality of dealing with a single “Alien” in your space ship.

“Aliens” knocked it out of the much bigger airlock by pitting a group of future marines against an entire nest of “Aliens”.   And for my money is even BETTER!  To say James Cameron is better than Ridley Scott would be very silly.  One is not better than the other they are extremely different.  Without Ridley, Cameron never could have made “Aliens”.  But taking that extremely fertile idea and extrapolating it as only Jim Cameron could, you unleash arguably the greatest science fiction film of all time that STILL stands tall even among today’s much larger budgeted CG filled nightmares.

When I was a boy of let’s say six or seven.  I was so obsessed with these creatures and  would draw them all day.  I loved the length of their skulls and would spend hours making sure my drawing was perfect.  I would even include the little tongue biter that would shoot out of their mouth.  Scary?  Yes, Chris that’s terrifying. I agree!  But here we are.

And if “Alien” inspired your six year old self to draw freaky sexualized alien looking humanoids all day then come on down to the Staged Reading of my Psychadelic Cyberpunk Film Noir screenplay “Mum Knows Best” on Sunday August 9th from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm at the Annoyance Theatre & Bar because we’ve got your six year old self and he’s freaking out.


I say this line to my dog every night before bed
I say this line to my dog every night before bed