Number 11: “Billy Madison/Happy Gilmore” or “What happened to Adam Sandler?”

“Billy Madison” and “Happy Gilmore” basically defined my life from the age of eight to fourteen (and still echoes into my thirties).  I have to thank these movies for so many good times.  I am still a heavy user of quotes from both of these films.

Adam Sandler was basically the funniest person in the world when I was nine.  I couldn’t imagine a funnier actor in the world.  The way he just said whatever he thought and did whaterver he wanted connected directly with my funniest of funny bones.  I didn’t even understand a lot of the jokes but watching Sandler say “Peeing in your pants is cool!” caused me to have convulsions.

And then because I was so deeply in love with these films I could use them as friend tests.  I could utter a standard quote from one of these films in passing and if my new acquaintance could finish the quote or drop a relevant new one than I knew they were good people.

These movies are amazing.  Adam Sandler is an incredible talent.  I really thought after seeing these two films probably fifty times each that I would have a new and amazing Adam Sandler movie to enjoy every two years or so.  Well that couldn’t have been further from the truth.

Though these films did deliver on everything I loved cherished and enjoyed in this world they brought with them an onslaught of some of the worst films to ever grace the silver screen.  Dare I say “Star Wars” prequel bad.  For every one “Wedding Singer” or “Water Boy” we got ten awful terrible death to the art of film as we know it films.

This trend started off slow at first with “Big Daddy” and “Little Nicky” both of which I really didn’t mind and thought we’re better than the reviews gave them credit but no where near the genius level of “Billy/Happy”.  Then following this we’re the WORST movies I maybe have ever seen.  “Click”, “Grown Ups”, “Grown Ups 2”, “You don’t mess with the Zohan”, “That’s My Boy”, “Jack and Jill”, “Anger Management”, “Mr. Deeds”, the list goes on.  I almost wonder if the beauty and glory of “Billy Madison” and “Happy Gilmore” were worth the horridness and tragedy that followed.

Whenever Sandler went off on a creative tangent with the likes of “Spanglish” or “Punch Drunk Love” I was the first in line to support him in his artistic pursuits.  I was really hoping this would become a new development and he would grow as an artist.  This sadly was not the case.  And now with the release of “Pixels” which has been aptly nicknamed “The death of art” I pray that he is somehow stopped.  I understand people still show up in droves and pay top dollar to see these “films” but once your bankaccount has eight zeros in it what’s driving you to continue?  If it’s just for the money than how much is enough?

These are the questions that keep me up at night.  If Adam Sandler started putting out material that he even appeared to give a single fuck about I would certainly be the first in line.  But until then FUCK “PIXELS”!

If you also hate the movie “Pixels” so much you can’t sleep at night than come on down to the Staged Reading of my Psychadelic Cyberpunk Film Noir screenplay “Mum Knows Best” on Sunday August 9th from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm at the Annoyance Theatre & Bar‪ https‬:// because it will hopefully be more like Billy Madison!

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